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The Handball Rule (part III)

The Handball Rule (part III)

You been shootin’ yer mouth off, boy. Well I have been moderately outspoken on the current handball rules and suggestions for updates, I admit. So it’s probably about time I put my proposals to the test. Let’s have a look at some example situations – both imaginary...

The Handball Rule (part II)

The Handball Rule (part II)

Reflecting on part 1 of my study of the very rule that makes football football, and outlining THE NEW RULE. I’m not sure FIFA are a million miles away with their assessment of what constitutes a handball, and how offenders should be punished. I think it’s perhaps the...

The Handball Rule (part I)

The Handball Rule (part I)

I wrote most of this article a couple of years ago but never got round to posting it. In July 2018, it seems more relevant than ever. The World Cup’s finished. And the Community Shield, unbelievably, is a mere fortnight away. You’d probably have expected the majority...

Analyse The Analysts – EURO 2016

It's that special time. The season's finished. The year ends with an even number. Telly is shit. It can only mean... it's time for a load of fat ex-pros, fat club managers and soon-to-be-fat injured footballers to analyse a major football tournament for us. I'll do my...

Jokes that only work on 6Music

Shaun Keaveny this morning asked for listeners' 'jokes that only work on BBC Radio 6 Music'. I didn't offer this one up as it also requires some bi-lingual skill. I came up with it, somewhat unbelievably, when in the midst of a heavy hangover in Bordeaux: Qu'est-ce...

Farewell midweek drinking

I'm a pretty decent writer. However today I have been a waste of oxygen. I used to enjoy a midweek drink, and even sort of get a kick out of struggling through the next day. It isn't quite as fun when ineffective = not earning though. Uncommon practice as it is for me...

My Summer FOMO

OMG, FOMO is actually a thing IMO. Or ‘Oh My God, Fear Of Missing Out is actually a thing In My Opinion’. I’m sure you knew that. AO (Acronym Overkill) These everyday chat acronyms are pretty annoying in general, a lazy bastardisation of our beautiful language....

POWER Resolutions

I want to look like Jean Claude Van Damme. I’m going to earn a million quid. I will be an astronaut by next Christmas. What do these three statements have in common? Other than being… err… aspirational? THEY’RE UNREALISTIC. At least on their own, anyway. If you want...

Top Tips for the Work Christmas Party

‘It’s the most wonderful time of the year’ Andy Williams may have exclaimed. But the potential for gross error is also at its optimum. Follow these tips to walk the fine line between bore and lunatic, and ensure you don’t end up being your company’s jingle bell-end....

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