Shaun Keaveny this morning asked for listeners’ ‘jokes that only work on BBC Radio 6 Music’.
I didn’t offer this one up as it also requires some bi-lingual skill. I came up with it, somewhat unbelievably, when in the midst of a heavy hangover in Bordeaux:
I’m a pretty decent writer. However today I have been a waste of oxygen. I used to enjoy a midweek drink, and even sort of get a kick out of struggling through the next day. It isn’t quite as fun when ineffective = not earning though. Uncommon practice as it is for me to booze on a school night nowadays, do turf me out if you happen to see in the pub Monday to Thursday. Ta.
A title bristling with insinuation, isn’t it?
Well I’m not going to damn it to hell, but I’ve always had a bit of an issue with the Mercury Music Prize. Or the Barclaycard Mercury Prize, as it now refers to itself. But rather than just blindly slagging it off like usual, I’ve had me a little sit down to think about just what that issue is.
I’ve been known to complain. Like after my girlfriend and I had been shoehorned into a knackered old coach without a toilet for four hours on our return from a three-day festival. And when I ordered a new bath panel and nobody ever contacted me about it, or its absence, ever.
OMG, FOMO is actually a thing IMO.
Or ‘Oh My God, Fear Of Missing Out is actually a thing In My Opinion’. I’m sure you knew that.
AO (Acronym Overkill)
I want to look like Jean Claude Van Damme. I’m going to earn a million quid. I will be an astronaut by next Christmas.
What do these three statements have in common? Other than being… err… aspirational?
‘It’s the most wonderful time of the year’ Andy Williams may have exclaimed. But the potential for gross error is also at its optimum. Follow these tips to walk the fine line between bore and lunatic, and ensure you don’t end up being your company’s jingle bell-end.
Almost overnight, Harringay Green Lanes has gone from a one-pub drinking wasteland to a multi-bar drag. I didn’t even see it coming.