And indeed jabber.

Category: Everything else

The Handball Rule (part III)

You been shootin’ yer mouth off, boy.

Well I have been moderately outspoken on the current handball rules and suggestions for updates, I admit. So it’s probably about time I put my proposals to the test.

The Handball Rule (part II)

Reflecting on part 1 of my study of the very rule that makes football football, and outlining THE NEW RULE.

I’m not sure FIFA are a million miles away with their assessment of what constitutes a handball, and how offenders should be punished. I think it’s perhaps the referees (or the Head Referees) and the pundits that are furthest from the mark.

The Handball Rule (part I)

I wrote most of this article a couple of years ago but never got round to posting it. In July 2018, it seems more relevant than ever.

Analyse The Analysts – EURO 2016

QualityIt’s that special time. The season’s finished. The year ends with an even number. Telly is shit.

It can only mean… it’s time for a load of fat ex-pros, fat club managers and soon-to-be-fat injured footballers to analyse a major football tournament for us.

Jokes that only work on 6Music

Shaun Keaveny this morning asked for listeners’ ‘jokes that only work on BBC Radio 6 Music’.

I didn’t offer this one up as it also requires some bi-lingual skill. I came up with it, somewhat unbelievably, when in the midst of a heavy hangover in Bordeaux:

Farewell midweek drinking

I’m a pretty decent writer. However today I have been a waste of oxygen. I used to enjoy a midweek drink, and even sort of get a kick out of struggling through the next day. It isn’t quite as fun when ineffective = not earning though. Uncommon practice as it is for me to booze on a school night nowadays, do turf me out if you happen to see in the pub Monday to Thursday. Ta.

My Summer FOMO



OMG, FOMO is actually a thing IMO.

Or ‘Oh My God, Fear Of Missing Out is actually a thing In My Opinion’. I’m sure you knew that.

AO (Acronym Overkill)

POWER Resolutions

Van Damme at the peak of his powers

JCVD at the peak of his powers

I want to look like Jean Claude Van Damme. I’m going to earn a million quid. I will be an astronaut by next Christmas.

What do these three statements have in common? Other than being… err… aspirational?

Top Tips for the Work Christmas Party


‘It’s the most wonderful time of the year’ Andy Williams may have exclaimed. But the potential for gross error is also at its optimum. Follow these tips to walk the fine line between bore and lunatic, and ensure you don’t end up being your company’s jingle bell-end.

Harringay – I turn my back and look what happens!

Jam In A Jar

Jam In A Jar

Almost overnight, Harringay Green Lanes has gone from a one-pub drinking wasteland to a multi-bar drag. I didn’t even see it coming.

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